Eulogy for John Emory Floyd by Jane Floyd Zenger

Eulogy for John Emory Floyd

For anyone that knew my father, you knew a true southern gentleman. He was known for his southern hospitality. He loved nothing more than guests at the table and family gathered around.  I most remember how much he loved to laugh.

          Alzheimer’s is a terrible disease; it takes away memories and one’s ability to communicate.  But it does not take away the memory those who love that person. So – although Dad’s memory was shutting down, we were hearing old stories that were coming back and replaying as the new memories could not be held on to for more than a few minutes. We heard stories about his childhood: stories like the time he ordered a flyer from a comic book about being a hypnotist and hypnotized his sister Toosie and convinced her she was Sleeping Beauty and she would sleep for 100 years.  It took a house call from the country doctor and a bucket of cold water to bring her back.

 He told us stories from WWII that we had never heard.  He described the last days of the war and he was watching weary soldiers loading onto the huge ship that would bring them home. He noticed that the duffle bags were so heavy some of the men could barely lift them. He assumed they had souvenirs or gifts.  The evening after they shoved off, the captain made an announcement, “We can’t turn back but it has come to my attention that about 30 Italian women and more than 20 dogs have been brought on board. All of you men who have smuggled Italian girlfriends on the ship will meet on deck tomorrow morning 0-600, whereas the captain of this ship, you will be formally wedded. These girls and women will not be taken advantage of—they have suffered enough and will step onto American soil as your legal wives.”

          We have so many stories that Dad told us. His stories were never mean spirited or at someone else’s expense.  Everyone in our family will remember and hold on to Dad’s memories for him. For Daddy it was all about stories and he loved a tall tale and a good clean joke. To Dad, (being a Reader’s Digest kind of guy) laughter was the best medicine. He used his stories to make connections and make people feel at ease and special.

          There were so many things Daddy cared about and he had a vast range of interests and knowledge. I will mention just a few of his passions. He loved good food, especially seafood and he loved whatever Mom cooked but he was also an excellent chief and prided himself on preparing the perfect steak or hamburger on the grill. My niece Vicky reminded me last night that he also loved making homemade ice cream, especially peach ice cream on the 4^th of July. Of course we had the hand churn because the best part was the wait and anticipation. Also,  it kept the children busy turning that handle for an hour.

          Dad loved the water- it could be a beach or a river or a lake. I guess that is why Johnny, Jeannie and I all live on property bordered by lakes or creeks.  Dad was at home cruising down the Waccamaw River or taking the boat over to meet up with friends to campout, fish and swim on Sandy Island. He made sure we could all swim and taught us to water ski at Lake Hartsville or on the black water rivers.  He loved the beach and swimming in the ocean and some of my best memories involve hanging out and talking with Dad beyond the breakers, riding the waves and walking down the beach at sunset.

          He loved music, and we grew up listening to corny “Sing along with Mitch Miller” albums. We endured (but secretly loved) Pat Boone, big band and swing, and of course his vast selection of Broadway musicals like South Pacific, My Fair Lady and Oklahoma. This enabled me to annoy my own children by knowing the words of hundreds of songs but having a terrible voice.  But the important thing is I passed that love of music on to my own children. Daddy wanted all of us to appreciate music so we all had music lessons- Johnny and Jeannie did learn to play the violin and piano. Poor Dad and Mom- having to endure those recitals and three kids practicing endless scales and remember Johnny playing the violin while our dog Chet howled along and Dad just laughed thinking that was the funniest thing.

          Daddy loved the South and being a Southerner and he loved being an American and all that represented. When WWII shook the world, Dad stepped up and served with distinction winning many accommodations and medals. But Dad never bragged or discussed the horrible parts of the war, he only told us stories that were humorous or about acts of kindness. His letters sent to his sister throughout the war have been carefully saved and the SC History Archives has asked that we donate them sometime this year. The letters were sent almost every other week and chronical his observations and feelings. Here is an excerpt of his letter written near the end of the war:

( I do not have the letter copied- I need to get it out of archives)

          If the war had not disrupted his dreams of attending college, he might have had one of many professions. He could do anything it seemed- Maybe he could have been a designer or architect. He designed and oversaw the building of our house. He was a woodworker and designer.  He could have been a historian specializing in history. Our bookshelves were full of his books on military history and biographies of Thomas Jefferson, Robert E. Lee  and Winston Churchill. He might have been an actor or writer. Mother remembers seeing Dad play the lead in high school plays and the rumor is that he wrote the Aynor High School Alma Mater. When we were growing up, he loved going to the Florence Little Theatre and he provided the authentic WWII costumes for South Pacific and won a theatre award for his contributions.

Maybe he could have been a doctor because although Mom was a nurse, it was Dad that we called when we had a skinned elbow or a splinter. Vicky said that her granddad would just say, close your eyes and before you knew it that splinter was out or that cut was cleaned up and bandaged.

He wanted his family to have all the advantages that he could give us.  We took vacations to the  North Carolina mountains and Florida. Almost every summer we rented houses at either Cherry Grove or Pawlys Island until he bought a three bedroom house at Surfside Beach. In his early retirement he added on a three room addition after he was practically blind.

Daddy loved to laugh and tell stories, especially about his childhood and his family. The Floyds are famous for our love of animals, especially stray and abandoned animals. Dad and Mom tolerated all the animals we brought in. We had hamsters, kittens, wild rabbits, abandoned dogs, and feral cats. Daddy built our critters the only two story dog and cat house I had ever seen.  The heated dog house was on the bottom and the cats had the top floor that included a sun deck. Johnny brought in creatures from the woods like snapping turtles and garter snakes and Jeannie once raised a possum.

          Dad indulged all of us with our hobbies. When mother decided to make and collect porcelain dolls and decorate elaborate doll houses, he installed lights that dimmed and one house even had a tiny working doorbell. He made stilts, designed toys and built tree houses for the grandchildren. He never lost his own childhood enthusiasm for playing and he was ruthless at Chinese checkers and chess and as far as outdoor sports he could do archery, throw a bowie knife, and walk on the stilts he constructed from maple poles. Dad liked to fish but he did not hunt. Although he was a sharpshooter in the war (and he did this on skis) he never shot at another living thing again after he returned from Italy.

Yes Dad had surprising talents and skills and he cared about so many things. He loved his family and he was proud of our accomplishments: he let us know when we lived up to our expectations and when we did not.

But most of all he loved our mother.  They were devoted to one another. But as you all know they had very different personalities and temperaments.  Dad loved mom’s spunk and her courage.  If Mom wanted something, he would support her and work to make her happy. In some ways he may have wanted to make up for her early days of living on a farm after the depression.  If she wanted a convertible, we got a convertible.  For Mom, there was support of her parents without question. He provided  a river house on the little Pee Dee, help with her garden of unique flowers and  supported  her crafts and hobbies. When Mom retired and wanted to travel to Germany and Switzerland (and later to Romania for a mission trip), he just wrote the check and handed it to her. He did not want to travel, but he wanted her to see the world.

          He was lucky to have my mother and anyone who visited our house in the last desperate years saw her care and loving attention to Daddy. All of her skills as nurse were used to keep him comfortable and secure as his light diminished. I know that you all have your own memories. Speaking for the family, we have all been blessed to have the parents we have. We will miss him and remember his wisdom, humor and kindness.   I appreciate all of you who helped care for Dad the past several years.